Yeah thats me.
P-a-r-a-n-o-i-d FREAK!
I worry about the dumbest stuff....truely.
Is someone just waiting outside to break into my house?
Are my tires going to go flat while I'm driving?
Is a tornado going to come in the middle of the night?
Am I going to lose my keys and not be able to replace my Hello Kitty key topper?
My son is going to fall out of the tree in the front yard and break a bone and I'll puke when I see it.
How many people on my Facebook friends list have me on ignore?
Ugh, worry worry worry.
I need to stop.
It's not good for the baby.
Oh wait.
I have EUS ... (empty uterus syndrom aka not pregnant)
Well then, it's not good for the already forming lines on my face.... blah.
Whatever.
Worrying is for losers.
I am the king of losers.
Bow down bitches.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
The Clinton Chronicals pt 2
So yesterday was Memorial Day.
Thank you veterans! (including my husband Clinton, even though all he did was visit awesome ports and drink beer and play xbox...Go Navy!)
We BBQ'd some brats and steak.
(that's bratwurst, not my bratty kids)
I went to the Wally World to get some last min stuff to eat with dinner.
Peppers, mushrooms, a giant jalapeno for Clinton and some Amish potato salad.
Have you ever had it?
It's devine!
Those Amish sure know their way around a kitchen!
So as we set down to eat, Clinton starts talking (and those who know him, knows nothing really good comes from that).
Clinton: Is that Amish potato salad?
Me: Yes
Clinton: Did you get some Amish egg salad?
Me: *gives him the "you're stupid" look* No.
I don't even think they make that, I've never heard of it.
Clinton: They probably do.
Me: Probably, but I've never seen it.
Clinton: You should email them.
Me: Who? The Amish?
Clinton: Yeah.
Me: *face palm*
Thank you veterans! (including my husband Clinton, even though all he did was visit awesome ports and drink beer and play xbox...Go Navy!)
We BBQ'd some brats and steak.
(that's bratwurst, not my bratty kids)
I went to the Wally World to get some last min stuff to eat with dinner.
Peppers, mushrooms, a giant jalapeno for Clinton and some Amish potato salad.
Have you ever had it?
It's devine!
Those Amish sure know their way around a kitchen!
So as we set down to eat, Clinton starts talking (and those who know him, knows nothing really good comes from that).
Clinton: Is that Amish potato salad?
Me: Yes
Clinton: Did you get some Amish egg salad?
Me: *gives him the "you're stupid" look* No.
I don't even think they make that, I've never heard of it.
Clinton: They probably do.
Me: Probably, but I've never seen it.
Clinton: You should email them.
Me: Who? The Amish?
Clinton: Yeah.
Me: *face palm*
Fabulous times are a comin my friends
Terrible two's!
Yay.
Awesome.
NOT!
So now is the time C has decided to be a royal pain in my ass and start warming up for the terrible two's.
She is 21 months old and its been going on for about a month. I just now pulled myself out of the realm of denial and admited the inevitable.
D started the TT at 11 months old.
I kid you not.
He was a holy terror until he hit 18mths.
After that .... he was heavenly. Very good 2yr old, even better 3yr old and then a hormonal 15yr old trapped in a 4yr olds body. And has been that way ever since.
Yipee.
A was fabulous.
She was a good baby, great 1yr old and fabulous 2yr old.
3 has been kinda iffy, her mood swings rival that of a woman going through menopause.
I'm crossing my fingers that 4 is a good year.
C ..... oh my sweet little C.
You are the sweetests, most quiet baby. You eat nearly anything I put in front of you.
You like to cuddle (HUGE plus with momma!)
You are tiny and beautiful and melt my heart when you say "momma"
But this little demon child you're morphing into .... NOT diggin it.
Cut it out.
Just stop now.
Screaming at me. Trying to smack me. Telling me "no" 500 times a day. Telling me that everything is "mine" . Kicking and crying at diaper change time.
GOOD TIMES!
If this keeps up, I will be selling you on Ebay or Craigslist.
Whichever one has the most lienient human trafficking laws.
In the meantime, I need to start Googling how to get ahold of some holy water.
You will find me huddled in a corner shaking an empty bottle one day yelling "the power of Christ compels you" while Chloe is standing over me trying to smack me yelling "mine" and trying to snatch the bottle.
Yay.
Awesome.
NOT!
So now is the time C has decided to be a royal pain in my ass and start warming up for the terrible two's.
She is 21 months old and its been going on for about a month. I just now pulled myself out of the realm of denial and admited the inevitable.
D started the TT at 11 months old.
I kid you not.
He was a holy terror until he hit 18mths.
After that .... he was heavenly. Very good 2yr old, even better 3yr old and then a hormonal 15yr old trapped in a 4yr olds body. And has been that way ever since.
Yipee.
A was fabulous.
She was a good baby, great 1yr old and fabulous 2yr old.
3 has been kinda iffy, her mood swings rival that of a woman going through menopause.
I'm crossing my fingers that 4 is a good year.
C ..... oh my sweet little C.
You are the sweetests, most quiet baby. You eat nearly anything I put in front of you.
You like to cuddle (HUGE plus with momma!)
You are tiny and beautiful and melt my heart when you say "momma"
But this little demon child you're morphing into .... NOT diggin it.
Cut it out.
Just stop now.
Screaming at me. Trying to smack me. Telling me "no" 500 times a day. Telling me that everything is "mine" . Kicking and crying at diaper change time.
GOOD TIMES!
If this keeps up, I will be selling you on Ebay or Craigslist.
Whichever one has the most lienient human trafficking laws.
In the meantime, I need to start Googling how to get ahold of some holy water.
You will find me huddled in a corner shaking an empty bottle one day yelling "the power of Christ compels you" while Chloe is standing over me trying to smack me yelling "mine" and trying to snatch the bottle.
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