And the award goes to ........

Ever had a day where you felt like the worlds shittiest mom?

No?

Well then hit the back button because you're a liar.

We ALL have those days.

The kids are whining and you can't deal with it, so you yell at them
Or bribe them with candy to STFU & go to their room.
You let them watch a few more cartoons than normal just for the blissful quiet you get from it.

We're only human, that's how we roll.


Now .... ever had a day where your brain just completely slipped and you forgot you had kids?

No?

Just me?

Damn.



Ok, I'm putting this out there, because now, I can laugh about it (then cry because I'm not totally heartless).


My son .....

When he was just 3 weeks old I was giving him a bath in the sink.
Not "IN" the sink, but he had one of those weird mesh bathtub insert thingies.
So anyway ..... He is clean. Smelling like all kinds of wonderful that I want to bottle up and sniff every second of every day. CLEAN BABY!!! Who can't resist that?! Ahhh heaven.

Wait ... where was I?
Oh yeah, my shitty mom moment.

So I was all in the moment, I had a clean baby. The house was fairly clean. (keep in mind I had ... literally ... over 40 stitches in my cooter. Walking was painful, let alone cleaning and standing to bathe my child).
I lifted him up in joy and *BAM*. I hear a loud thud and then his mouth dropped open. His face turned red. He had this look of horror on his face. He had the "I'm going to cry but I can't force myself to breath to do it" look on his face.

I had hit his head on the cabinet above the sink.
It had scared and hurt him so much he stopped breathing.
I tried everything ... blowing in his face, patting his back, etc...
I finally turned him upside down and that got him going.

So yeah, shitty mom, nearly causes brain damage to newborn son.
I felt awful about it at the time, but now I can sit back and think "damn I was a MORON!"


I have 2 more incidents that involve both of my daughters, as recent as last year.
I'm not over these incidents yet. Let's just say it involves a near drowning and a baby being left in a car for about 20min.
BOTH kids are ok, no damage at all. But to this day it makes me cry and sad.

So what I'm getting at is ... we all have Shitty Mom Days.
It's ok, we're allowed.
When you feel bad about yourself just think about me nearly causing brain damage to my child and you'll feel better.

The Bad Mommy Award goes to ................. Alexis Franklin!!!!

*claps*

I'd like to thank my children and my lack of sleep. Without them, this would not be possible.




~~Aaaaand scene~~

Auntie Em, Aunti Em!

I have issues.

Most people who know me, know this.

Shut up Taressa!

I'm terrified, yet fascinated with tornado's.

Why?

I couldn't tell you, so don't freakin ask.


Tornado watches make my stomach do flip flops.
Tornado warnings (even in other cities nearby) make me want to puke blood.

But at the same time. I want to be that crazy mofo in my car taking pictures of them.
Crazy? Perhaps. Let's not judge.

I'm terrified of a tornado coming in the night.
Which is part of the reason you will never find me sleeping nekkid. Especially now that we live in freakin Oooooooklahoma.
It takes all I have in me not to sleep in shoes & a bra.

I mean seriously. If a twister hits at 3am and you're naked or half naked or wearing some God-awful Spice Girls shirt to bed you're screwed!

I have 3 kids and a dog. They take priority over me putting on decent clothes. I must get them to safety before we go flying to Oz.

If a twister hits, I don't want the only piece of clothing I have to wear for the next week to be a Spice Girls shirt, no bra & faded holy capri's from Family Dollar.


A lesson for you buff sleepers out there. Take this as a warning.
I don't want to see your boobies flapping about as you run around on the news yelling "It was pandalerium!" Put on a bra, wear some pj's and keep some slip on shoes handy and you can thank me. later.